The day started out like any other; woke up and sent James to school. I took advantage and slept in for a little longer just because I could. After lunch I took some time to do some more housecleaning. While I was cleaning James called from school telling me that he was getting out earlier because the rest of his students in one of his classes were not going to be at school… Okay, fine, whatever this happens.
Soon after James returned home from school, and while we were tidying up the mess I made in the kitchen when I was cleaning, he had a seizure. Two in fact, a couple of minutes each. Fortunately they were only complex partials, so I tend to worry a little less about them. My biggest concern today was that the seizures lasted as long as they did – and seemingly with no explanation.
After the first seizure I asked him to sit and relax for a few minutes. Thirty seconds later he was “good and ready to stand up.” I didn’t agree because he still had that look in his face, but who am I to judge. Not even 10 minutes later we were standing out on the front deck watching a chopper fly into the local heliport; BANG he was down for the count again. This time it was close to 5 minutes before he was completely back to normal.
Logic would dictate that one should rest for a few hours and take it easy to recover from nearly 10 minutes of seizures. After all the brain has been through a period of extensive activity and needs time to recuperate from such an event. I suggested strongly that James do just this – which he did, however, not for nearly long enough.
This is where the evening went sour… Instead of resting for a couple hours James thought it would be a good idea to take the iPod and go for a walk up the road. He did this with complete disregard for my suggestion to stay home and recover; going out on his own is a bad idea as it is, but especially immediately following seizures.
The blatant disregard for authority as he stormed off out the door to go for a walk angered me greatly. I should point out that James’ listening skills for the last few weeks have been deteriorating and so this was not the first instance, but it set off a chain of events that led to a great deal of aggression on my part and his.
Just over an hour later, after James decided to rake and clean up the front lawn, he was visiting the neighbours who were having a BBQ and a fire. James ended up having about 6 more seizures. Again, no explanation, although I strongly feel that if he had stuck around the house and listened to my advice to relax for a few hours, they would not have occurred in the first place.
Back to the aggression for a moment – over the course of the evening James and I got into it a few more times because he was not listening. Really following simple instructions should not be a complicated task. The rest of the night was spent watching TV and trying to keep my cool as I figured out how to best handle this situation. I evidently took a wrong took a wrong turn asking if he had washed his hands before touching my evening snack after playing with a dirty old bike and being covered in oil. He took great offense to this, put his shoes on and almost stormed off mad…
After he simmered down, we made amends and agreed to try making the next day better. Someone once told me to never go to bed mad, so whenever possible I do what I can to defuse a bad situation before going to sleep.
The next day started out good, James even made me breakfast in bed because he never went to school that morning. The afternoon seemed to be going smoothly as well after he got home from school. Then it happened. He decided it was time to stop listening again. Rage set in, and he basically said “frig this, I am outta here.” The two of us were pretty enraged having a big ol’ shouting match as I tried to stop him from leaving the house. I failed, but I felt substantially better after letting out all that the pent up frustrations.
I spent half an hour trying to get him back into my car to come home, and finally got a friend of mine to assist, and have a chat with him about everything that had happened. Honestly, I kinda think we both needed to let out some frustrations because the days since then have been pretty relaxed and groovy. James has been listening (for the most part), and this keeps me in check. Haha.
Today we went for a drive and I had a long chat with him. Generally speaking he is a good kid, but we came up with a list of 3 things that he needs to improve upon. If he does that then anger and running away from problems whenever he gets mad will in turn stop. He has agreed to work on these issues.
On a more positive note, we ordered flowers for my mom and James’ Nan for Mother’s Day. His Nan called right after they were delivered. I have never heard anyone so proud to receive flowers as she was. She was so happy she was in tears. I think James did an amazing gesture to have flowers delivered, because the feeling he gave his Nan was incredible. She said no one has ever done that for her before. So sad, but I am glad he was able to make her Mother’s Day special.
I told James that it is just a nice thing to do when you know you cannot be there with your Mom. And that is why my mom is lucky in that way, I send her flowers every year for Mother’s Day. Of course I would rather be home with her for Mother’s day, maybe bring her to dinner or something, but that is difficult to do when you are not even in the same time zone.
Well, as this rollercoaster of a week comes to an end, I am glad it ended on a high note. I just told James tonight before he went to bed, that it is always good to talk about things and work out the issues. Two people cannot ever live together without resolving differences and making compromises because everyone is different. No one is ever going to get along 100% of the time, and this is why we have to work everything out, so that it is as close to 100% as possible to make living arrangements more enjoyable for everyone involved.
I just hope he took everything that happened this weekend in and gives it some serious thought so that he can learn and grow from it.